Sunday, May 6, 2012

Deddy's Birth

Yes, he came home in girl pajamas.
 On Saturday morning (early morning, 1am early) I woke up with contractions.  I had a couple before we went to bed that night too.  I didn't get too excited but laid there and timed them for awhile.  After about an hour I let J know that they were happening about every 8-10 minutes.  J started timing them and we decided that we had better give his sister a heads up.  She was planning on coming up from Utah to help for a couple of days if I happened to have the baby early (my parents weren't planning on being here until the 17th).  J tried calling her cell phone 8 times; he called his brother's phone too, which was off; he called the house phone several times and then finally called his other sister, who lives up the street, who answered on the first ring and she went down to wake the other sister up.  Her phone had been on silent and after she and J talked it was agreed that she'd leave around 5:30am.  Second labors are usually half the time of first labors, so that would mean this one would be 15hrs, which would put us at about 1pm.

Anyway, after talking they both got online and looked at the roads and they were terrible.  There was no way we were going to ask her to drive in bad weather.  Around 6am, the contractions were getting closer together and at about 8 we were going to call the midwives but decided to call my dad and step-mom first and have them come and take Rico.  After they left, the contractions stopped.  I had sporadic ones throughout the day but nothing great and we were confused.  We had also let my mom and step-dad know earlier in the morning and Mom got on a flight that day and was here at 2pm.

J and I spent the day alone, which we haven't really done sinceRico was born--ok, more than "haven't really" we truly have not spent the entire day alone together since he was born.  It was a great day, he had me haul hay to the trash can which sped up the contractions for a minute.  He is a slave driving birth partner. :)  We also went a bought a Christmas tree since we had planned to go cut our tree that day.  It is a very pretty tree, but it is sad we couldn't keep the tradition going.  I guess labor is a good excuse though.  

That night was another night of contractions and just when the sun came up they stopped again.  We were exhausted and confused again and decided to call the midwives (the same one from Rico's birth).  She said that it was pre-labor.  Some women go through it for days or even weeks before actual labor begins.  We were both tired and sad that it wasn't real labor and that it could continue for weeks.  The little relief we got was that that night we could sleep and I was told to take a Benadryl to sleep through the contractions which helped us relax a little more.  I hadn't taken a single pill while being pregnant with Deddy, but I was exhausted and after talking to the midwife I felt fine about it.  We went for a long walk, had a good dinner and went to bed.  I woke up at 1am again with contractions and started timing them and they were about 8 minutes apart.  I let J sleep until 2 and then we started timing them because they were more intense than the previous nights and when I got out of bed they didn't stop.

We called the midwives at about 3:30 when they were about 5 minutes apart and she told us to call when we felt like coming in--at about 3-5 minutes apart.  That way, we could also be a little more sure that I really was in labor.  About 30 minutes later we called and let them know we were coming in.  My contractions had sped up quickly--unlike the Rico's birth.  It took us 15 minutes to get's so nice to drive at 4 in the morning...but the roads seem to have a lot more bumps.

When we got there one of the midwives checked me and I was 5cm dialated and she could "safely say" I was in active labor.  I paced the room, sat on the birth ball and listened to music for quite awhile.  Then the contractions started getting a lot longer and I couldn't hold back the tears.  I wasn't crying for pain.  In fact, I'm not sure why I was crying.  At that point J was holding me through each one and that helped immensely.  It seemed to make them much more bearable.  We were standing swaying together to the music and I was just able to fall into him and he carried my weight.  I love him as my birth partner.

I decided to get checked once more to see how far along I was because I had had a few contractions that made me want to push.  I wasn't quite ready for that (only 8cm) so I got in the tub.  The water helped much more this time and J held my hand the whole time.  I cried for what seemed like a really long time as the midwives came and went a couple of times.  The baby was sounding great--I sounded like a woman in transition.  I also finally reached the point that if I were to have a girl, I would love her and show her that I wanted her.  Throughout my pregnancy I never felt like it was a girl and I was somewhat detached.  It was a horrible feeling and I vowed, during transition, that I would make up for that. After that I got on the birth stool and it was about time to push but my cervix had a little lip on it.  I laid on the bed and cried some more, then finally I was given the ok to try pushing.  Each time I pushed, Heather* (who delivered Cedrik) would push the cervix back over her head.  Then, when the contraction would be over it would come right back down.  I decided during one of the contractions that I was tired of it and gave a very big push and my cervix stayed put after that.  A couple of contractions later and I "decided" I was ready for my water to break and to get him out...and it broke.  It wasn't very long after that J had to move from being my support to the catching position.  Julie* took his spot behind me and although I can't stand for anyone but J and Rico in that close of a proximity to my face, it was so nice to have her behind me and I felt so incredibly supported.

I don't know how to describe this part other than to say that I didn't notice anything really that was going on around me.  I kept saying, "I don't want to suck her back in" because it felt like every time the contraction was done she went back up.  This is how it is supposed to happen, but during that moment I forgot.  Then, I could no longer hold back and I just had to keep pushing.  It felt like I was tearing and I kept saying that over and over but Heather assured me I wasn't.  I didn't believe her.  Then I was hearing "push the rest of your baby out."  It didn't seem like it was time for that but after her head was out I was worried for a milisecond that I wouldn't be able to get the body out...then it came out and J caught her.  He handed her to me very quickly and all the midwives were talking about "her."  Calm, cool, and collected J had the bright idea to check and make sure she was a she and found out otherwise.  Then he said "It's not a girl.  It's a boy!"  We both looked at each other and said" we knew it!"  It was such a wonderful moment to realize that our feelings that it was a boy were true and after thinking about it since, were probably promptings from the Holy Ghost...we just didn't care to listen I guess.

Total labor time: 8hrs
6lbs 6oz
Pushing time: 30 min
Born at 9: 02am

Rico's labor time: 30 hrs
8lbs 1oz
Pushing time: 2 hrs

This birth was about the same spiritually was Rico's birth was.  Although, during transition the only thing I could think about was The Atonement and that was probably what got me through.  J had given me a blessing of health, protection and that I would deliver the baby as I had prepared to.  It is so amazing to have a husband who can give me blessings and say them in exactly the way I need to hear them.  It is so comforting to have those promises--especially to a laboring woman.

* names have been changed

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